Anyone seen my gloves?

So I haven’t become mature enough yet to actually plan for the cold weather. It takes about 3 or 4 consecutive cold days for me to actually think about pulling out sweaters, coats and the dreaded childhood trinity…hats, scarves, and gloves. This evening I tore apart our coat closet looking for winter wear. I found hats…I found scarves…but I did not find a single pair of gloves!! Where did they all go? Why has this problem plagued me since I was a little girl?? I can’t keep gloves to save my life. Finally after going through every single coat pocket and purse…I found a pair. The only issue is, they don’t match any of the hats and scarves. Ridiculous though it may be, my aforementioned OCD will cause me to freeze rather than wear these orphaned gloves. Not for vanity’s sake…I just can’t bring myself to do it. Yet. I’m sure it will, at some point, get cold enough for me to slip them on…shove my hands in my pockets…and try to convince my brain that they DO match my scarf. In the meantime…if anyone finds my other gloves, can you let me know?

I am getting very angry- very angry indeed

Love Marvin… pretty much hate everything else now. Sorry friends, having a bad morning what with potential harm to my as yet to be born nephew, ungrateful coworkers and just all around irritation. I’m grumpy when I’m sick, huh?  I did learn that the Irish Flu was a hangover this week so I can share that.. otherwise I am going to go back to being grumpy and sick now:)

Reproduction, Reproduction!!

I guess the song kinda hit home with my brother or at least his wife. As I write this, he is the proud father of three- 8 years old, 4 years olds and as of yesterday 1 year old. To celebrate, his wife went into contractions with their fourth child. I am just wondering if perhaps dropping out of high school, also meant no sex ed. Note to his wife, it is not enough to purchase the birth control… you must actually use it as well. As my brother struggles to redistribute his children so that he may make the official outing to the hospital for his fourth child, he suggested perhaps my dear sister could take his youngest baby. My sister has actually just had her first child. Let’s see, I think she might be busy seeing as how she has a three week old baby herself which was , yes, cut out of her. My mother has suggested that perhaps he get a nursemaid, which began a whole new round of arguing calling into question my sister’s standards. Here’s my question… so with 5 grandchildren crawling around and our inability to handle what we have already… why , oh why, does everyone in my family keep asking me when I am going to have my own. Um, don’t you people have enough already?

Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh…

So as most teenage girls and their fathers do, my dad and I totally clashed over boys.  From about ages 15 – 19 we were mortal enemies.  And as I was getting grounded for breaking curfew to hang out with a guy I liked for just a few more minutes or getting caught on the phone in the wee hours (on a school night), my dad would always tell me, “Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh.”  I can’t even explain how much I hated when he said that.  There was absolutely nothing funny about being stuck in the house with no phone, no TV, no nothing. 

 Well the other day…we looked back on all of that and laughed.  My dad called me to ask some random question about my first crush.   Which led to a nearly two hour conversation that covered just about every guy I ever dated.  It was absolutely hilarious!  We talked about what I saw in them then, the breakups, and where they are now…and all I’ll say about that is as I’ve grown up my taste in guys has improved dramatically and, for some of them, karma is a MoFo.   I could have saved myself sooo many headaches (and heartaches) if I could repeat my teenage years knowing what I know now…or what my dad knew then.  Granted, he hated any boy that came within 20 feet of me…but most of that was with good reason.  As a matter of fact, the only guy I dated that he liked is my husband.  But I think that’s only because neither of them are very good golfers and hubby won’t make him look too bad.  But anyway.  Dad was right, there I said it…no one repeat it.

Time and Age

Ok, so I am not really that old, although I remember shows and songs and pop culture references far before my time- a result of being the youngest of three children I suppose. Since my extensive knowledge of 1970 still does not stop folks from asking if I’m interviewing for the intern position or getting carded for cigarettes, looking young and acting like I’m 12 probably don’t mean a whole lot. That said, I got an email yesterday from my mom that made me think about age and growing up. It was a list of things conveying the simple pleasures of growing up in the 60’s and 70’s and the ethics it taught us. It got me thinking back to a horrible experience at an old job with a bunch of 20 year olds who did not know what the Facts of Life was when I mentioned it. First things first, the show ain’t that old, I ain’t that old and those girls were stupid (yes I know it doesn’t have anything to do with my rambling but they were) The Facts of Life was one of the greatest shows of its time and why? Becasue those girls did “take the good and take the bad” and do ok. The premise is perfect, 4 girls who fit 4 stereotypes, I’m assuming the writers and directors had no idea that they would one day all turn into the same stereotype.  Growing up watching Tootie, Jo, Blair, Natalie… and of course Nancy,the whore in the background constantly talking to Roger… I really hope they got married becuase that girl wasted just about every second of every episode babbling about that boy. Anyway, despite being closest to one of the stereotypes myself (I’ll let you all guess which- feel free to vote in the comments section) I have to say the show taught me a lot. And to those stupid girls in the office, we grew up with Mean Girls and believe that is the show to emulate, piece of advice.. I am a Mean Girl and you can’t get there without learning from the Facts of Life… go watch an ethical and wholesome show and then you can go be all self- important- till then your just brainlessly following a movie that was meant to prove a point. And as an aside, I will say that one of my best friend in the entire world is 7 years younger than me and knows about older shows and has ethics and morals (well at least as much as me) Thanks my dear for making me believe that all hope is not lost. I guess Mean Girls real story did get through to some girls

P.S- Speaking of old, my birthday is coming up and if anyone is looking for a present for me… Wentworth Miller.. just dress him up…  or not… I’m sure my husband will understand:)

Attitudinal Issues

Seriously…why do people feel the need to be rude?  Why is it necessary to berate and belittle someone else to make a point?  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve had my fair share of teetering on the edge moments where the straw that broke the camel’s back grew legs and started tap dancing on my last nerve.  But I’ve never just been outright rude to someone. Well…that’s not exactly true.  But at least I felt instantaneous remorse and apologized.  Okay, maybe not right away.  But see, this just further proves my point.  Why do we think it’s okay to speak to people without courtesy, or at the very least, respect?  I solemnly promise that from this day forth I will make a concerted effort to speak to people as if they are humans, and not…you know…crap.  Even all the craptacular Customer Service / Retail representatives with crapalicious attitudes that I will encounter in the coming Holiday season.  Ehh…maybe I’ll start in ‘08. 

Rule of 3’s Mother F*!*#R

As I was sitting in the traffic this morning, I started to think about growing up with my mom. You’re probably wondering why traffic reminds me of my mom but there is really a good reason. My mother is a 5′ 7″ beauty who is kind and sweet and the best mother ever. A former teacher turned successful lawyer she is calm and pulled together… that is until she gets in traffic. When suddenly, its like she develops a rather severe disorder where a constant, steady  flow of curses–some which you have never heard, some which 20 year old prison shut-ins would not dare to utter– begin to permeate the silence. And the oddest part is that they are shouted in threes… mother f*!*#R, damnnit, f*$k. Stop. Repeat. Vary. For the record, mother f*!*#R is her favorite. Our only salvation was the closest shopping area. That’s right only the nearest mall could tame the beast. And that is how my mother taught me, shopping can fix even your worst day. So thank you for my lesson mom, and as a tribute let me just say MOTHER F*!*#R!

And,yes, in case you are wondering I too swear like a truck driver… sadly, in and out of traffic.

Cheers to Mondays and blogging

So umm, hi…Happy Monday…so glad it’s over.  I’m brand new to this blogging stuff and thought I’d kick kick it off with a few fun facts about me.

1.  I’m married.  Happily.  And  I love my in laws.  All of them.  Creepy, huh?
2. I totally have OCD.  Mostly it’s just ridiculous hangups about colors and matching and organization (mysteriously, that concept has evaded my desk at home and at work).  But I also have a few ticks that, thus far, not many people have picked up on. 
3. I am such a dork.  I secretly love science, math and arts & crafts type stuff.  And as far as movies and music are concerned, I’m completely stuck in the eighties.  “Teen Witch” or ”I Wanna Dance With Somebody” anyone?

So that about sums me up.  And though most of my posts will probably be about nothing, I may occasionally come up with something profound or thought provoking.  Til then…cheers to Mondays (that are over) and blogging!

Here goes nothing!

So… my first post in my very own blog. Kinda scary for me , since I have up until now avoided the blogosphere like the plague. But a good friend of mine has finally convinced me I should start this… and seeing as how I am actually somewhat of a writer, shouldn’t be a problem. This blog is an open invitation for anyone dealing with the grown-up version of “girl world”, annoying men, wonderful men, work woes or general everyday life to come see my views and of course share their own! Just to warn you, this blog will focus on my views of the world and since I am hiding behind the blog, that means the gloves are off and I am not aplogizing! There is hope though, I have invited some of my closest friends, who also fancy themselves part Carrie Bradshaw/ part Regina George, to particpate.